Down The Rabbit Hole
by MODWOMAN22
Summary: Pete finds out the truth about his retarded brother. Will it heal or destroy him.


Down the rabbit hole

Pete looked at the death certificate in horror. His parents had lied about his brother Brian; he hadn't died when he was 11, he had died a year ago. He still clutched the copy of the death certificate and his eyes burned with anger. They were in a small room, filled with filing cabinet, one small wooden table and three chairs. Paper and manila folders were stacked neatly in front of the three. A large overhead florescent lamp cast a bright glow in the room.

"Hey Pete." Linc asked quietly. "You okay, man?" Even behind the dark glasses, Pete could see the concern in his friend's eyes. Linc continued to look at Pete in confusion.

Pete looked up to find curious and concerned looks from Linc and Julie.

"You look like someone just died." Julie said and looked at him. She too was confused as Pete pursed his lips and could feel the anger build within him. Julie's eyes bored into his.

True, he had just learned his brother had died, but he was angry, that's when he could trace the beginnings, meeting Rusty at the riding stables. Pete stood up quickly knocking over his chair in the small room as it clattered to the hardwood floor.

"Hey, Pete, where you going?" Linc asked as he stood up.

"Just leave me alone, man. Just leave me alone. There is something I got to do. I'll meet you later." Pete said through gritted teeth and waved them both off.

"Pete." Julie said and stood up.

Pete waved her off and headed out of the courthouse.

MSMSMSMSMSMSMSMSMS

Pete burned rubber out of the downtown parking lot as he headed to Beverly Hills. His parents had a lot to answer for. Traffic seemed to slow to a snail's pace and his anger built with each minute. Each red light and honking horn fueled his anger at life in general. He left the dirty, downtown streets and headed into the lush, green manicured lawns of Beverly Hills.

His life had been wrapped up in his retarded brother and then ripped away as suddenly. Dana Sterling had brought back all those old feelings, which he didn't like to talk about. He knew it had been the reason his parents drifted from him and now he knew why. Brian hadn't died; his parents had stuck him in an institution where he had died, alone.

MSMSMSMSMSMSMSMSMS

Pulling into the driveway he saw both his parents were home. He slammed the car door and headed to the front door. Not bothering to knock he opened the door to find his parents enjoying a cocktail before dinner.

"Peter." His parents said in surprise. Grace was dressed in a sequined lounge suit and his father was still in his suit, his tie had been loosened slightly.

"You lied to me!" Pete said, barely able to contain his anger. "You lied to me about Brian."

His parents looked shocked.

"Peter! How dare you come into this house making such accusations!" Harrison said and put down his cocktail on the coffee table.

"Accusations? Accusations!" Pete said, practically yelling. "What about this?" Pete threw the death certificate at their feet.

His mother, Grace, reached down and picked it up. The color drained from her face and then she showed it to Harrison.

"It was for the best." Harrison said coldly and looked annoyed.

"The best for who?" Pete said bitterly. "For you or for him?" And pointed a finger at his parents.

"You have no idea what you're talking about." Harrison accused Pete. "You didn't have to live with a …"

"Retarded child. Did he embarrass you?" Pete looked at both his shocked parents. "He didn't bother me."

"Peter, you were a child, we knew what we were doing," his mother said.

"Did you?" Pete said accusingly. "You preferred he lived in this place with no contact. If I had known, I would have seen him."

"Would you?" Harrison asked. "I seem to recall you getting caught up in riding and forgetting all about Brian."

Pete had had enough. He waved off his parents, opened the door and slammed it behind him. He needed some air.

MSMSMSMSMSMSM

Pete found himself at the pier, the cool ocean breeze did nothing to cool his anger, and it was as if he had lost his brother again. He had cried for a week when he was told Brian was dead. He had come home from school; both parents were waiting for him.

"_Peter." Grace said," Come with me."_

_He followed her into the living room. Father was waiting and she sat next to him._

_Pete loosened his school tie and waited, wondered if he had done something wrong._

"_Son." Harrison said gravely. "I have some bad news for you. Your brother Brian is dead."_

_Pete said nothing and then ran to his room, crying._

He then found solace at the riding stables and met Rusty; his life was never the same again.

Pete continued to stare out at the ocean, hoping it would give him some answers. But there were none to be found, sighing his chin hit his chest and he felt the tears come down. He saw the fog rolling in and watched the men fish off the pier. _Didn't they know his whole world had changed._

"Hey, Pete." Linc's soft voiced cooed. "You okay, man?"

Pete quickly wiped away his tears and turned around to face Linc and Julie.

"Yeah. I'm fine man. Sorry about earlier there was something I had to do." Pete said, keeping his voice neutral and hiding his pain.

"Well, we see the Captain tomorrow. Think you can keep it together until then?" Linc asked his voice also neutral.

"Man, no problem. "Pete said and started walking towards his car.

"Wait." Julie called out. "Do you want to get something to eat?"

Pete looked at Julie's concerned face, but knew he was in no mood for company. He had a lot of thinking to do.

"Maybe some other time. I'll see you tomorrow. "Pete said and waved as he headed to the safety of his car and apartment.

"Linc." Julie asked. "Did you see what made Pete so uptight at the courthouse?"

"No, man. Pete just lost it and then left." Linc said and shook his head. "Pete will tell us when he's ready. C'mon let's get something to eat."

MSMSMSMSMMSM

In Captain Greer's office, Pete leaned against the file cabinet. Linc and Julie sat in the chairs in front of Greer's desk

"You did good work yesterday." Greer said and looked down at a folder filled with paper.

"Once we get you two settled as orderlies." Greer said and pointed to Linc and Pete.

"Orderlies again." Linc said and shook his head.

"Yes, we just took out two orderlies with parole violations and then Julie and I move in." Greer said with confidence.

"What do you mean, you move in?" Pete asked, not liking the sound of it. Greer usually stayed in the background and they reported back to him.

"Well Julie is going to admit her dear addled father who happens to have a large estate to leave to her, we'll let nature and greed take their course." Greer said with a smile.

Pete looked horrified; he didn't think this was the part of the plan.

"Wait a minute Captain, don't you think you're taking a big chance?" Pete said, his voiced edged with uncertainty and concern.

"Well, if you boys do your jobs I won't be. Now go get those jobs. "Greer ordered.

MSMSMSMSMSMSMS

Pete pulled on his white tunic and stepped out of the locker room. Linc got the night shift and checking into the staff. The place smelled of Lysol, death, and decay. He wondered if the institution where his brother died smelled the same. He would have to check it out after his shift. Walking into the place he noticed the scuffed up, broken linoleum tiles and fluttering fluorescent lights. The once white walls were faded and residents had vacant, hopeless looks as he came in.

"Cochrane is it?" The ward nurse looked him up and down.

"Yes ma'am." Pete answered without emotion.

"Well we have rules to follow, button up your shirt and tuck it in. If your hair gets any longer you'll need a hairnet. We have standards here young man." The nurse ordered and pursed her lips.

Pete looked at her name tag**. S. Hines R.N.**

"I'm sorry Ms. Hines. It won't happen again. "Pete said and quickly tucked in his shirt and buttoned it.

"Follow me. I have rounds and some of the residents can be difficult." She spat out.

Pete followed her on her rounds, dispensing pills and exchanging pleasantries. He wondered if his brother still stayed the same, an easily amused boy he remembered. Just pushing a ball back and forth made him happy.

"Cochrane, did you hear me?" Hines said. "I need you to change this man's sheet while I clean him up."

"Yes ma'am." Pete said and watched as the nurse brusquely man handled the old him and treating him like a bad dog for messing on the carpet.

The time seemed to drag by and the smells made his stomach churn. He wondered if he would be able to handle this for the next several weeks. The captain had a nice long timetable and he wondered if he could even concentrate.

Finally time to go, Pete rushed to the locker room and changed out of his foul smelling uniform and threw it into the locker.

"Hey, man, it can't be all that bad." Linc said as he changed.

Pete hadn't realized Linc had even been there.

"You still uptight? "Linc asked even though he knew the answer.

"Well, this job is a big bummer man. A real bummer." Pete said and pulled up his jeans and put on his shirt, not even waiting to button it. "I'll see you later, man."

"Hey Pete." Linc called out as the door shut behind him.

CHAPTER 3

Pete pulled up to the fancy building, it was still an institution, with the fountain and manicured lawn, and he could imagine what horrors took place. He walked down the pristine white sidewalk into the home. There was a dark, brown leather couch on the left side of the lobby with a Tiffany floor lamp at the other side of the lobby were matching brown leather chairs, in between was a mahogany side table, on top were brochures about the facility. In the background, soothing classic music played and the place smelled of leather.

The lobby had dark brown shag carpeting and a receptionist sat behind a large mahogany desk; there were two more mahogany chairs in front. It reminded him of the bank his family had their accounts at. He approached the desk, stuffing his hands into his jeans pockets, suddenly feeling underdressed.

"Hello." The woman said, her brown hair cut pixie style, she wore an expensive red blouse along with pearl earrings and necklace, he smelled Shalimar perfume, and she smiled as her red lipstick showed a set of perfect teeth.

"Yes. I wonder if you could help me." Pete said as he seated himself in one of the leather chairs. He felt the cool material against his skin and smell reminding him of his riding days.

The woman smiled and then he saw the name plate, Susan Highbough.

"I'm trying to get some information about my brother, Brian Cochrane." Pete said and smiled, hoping his boyish charm would get past this first gatekeeper.

Susan smiled and then looked at him.

"Information? Was your brother a resident here?" Susan asked nicely.

"Yes, as a matter of fact he was until last year." Pete said as he felt his anger boil, his brother wasn't a person to easily forget.

"He was." Susan said. "Did he get transferred to another facility?" Susan had gotten a tablet now and was writing the things he asked.

"No, Ms. Highbough. He died here." Pete said as he pointed down at the desk with his index finger.

Ms. Highbough showed no sign of caring.

"I'm sorry to hear that. You see, I only started working here a few months ago." Susan said regrettably.

"Oh, is there anyone else who could help me then?" Pete asked softly.

"I'm afraid the only person would be the Facility Administrator, Ms. Holland, but she's on vacation." Susan said.

"How long a vacation?" Pete said and stood up, he was going nowhere fast.

"Two weeks. So if you can drop by in two weeks." Susan said and handed him a card.

Pete pulled the card from her hand.

"I'll see you in two weeks then." Pete said and headed purposefully out of the facility.

Chapter 4

Pete again tried to find solace at the pier. He couldn't remember the last time he went surfing and actually was relaxed at it. Being a cop took so much out of him, even when it did go right. He had seen so much death and destruction it was wearing on him. He bit his lower lip as he twisted the ring on his left hand. His stomach growling in protest he decided to grab a burger on the way home.

MSMSMMSMSMS

Turning the key, he heard his phone ring, not even closing the door he grabbed for it.

"Hello." Pete said shyly.

"Pete is that you? Greer said brusquely.

"Yes Captain, it's me. "Pete said annoyed at what Greer was implying.

"Okay, just making sure." Greer said with a hint of sarcasm. "Just letting you know I will be installed at the home tomorrow. So expect to see me there on your shift. Julie will keep you and Linc in the loop when she makes the move to get rid of Dad."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then, maybe. Depends on which wing I work. If nothing else I'll see you before I leave." Pete said and put two fingers of his left hand on his temple.

"Okay. Goodbye." Greer said and hung up.

Pete put the paper sack on his bar and pulled out his now cold burger and fries. He ate a few bites and decided he was ready for bed. He threw the rest in the garbage and headed up to the loft, after turning out the lights downstairs.

MSMSMSMSMS

Pete almost didn't recognize the captain, the only reason he knew it was him because he checked with the intake center. He made his way to the room, noting the door was slightly open, he knocked and went in. Greer's hair was greyer, with a hint of stubble, he looked disheveled and totally out of it. Greer's sheets and blankets were half falling out of the bed and a newspaper littered the bed.

"Who are you?" Greer grumbled as he shifted in the bed.

"I'm Pete Cochrane. I'm an orderly here and thought to check to see if you needed anything before I left." Pete asked evenly so if anyone was listening they wouldn't get suspicious.

"Well young man I want to go home. My foolish daughter put me in here for no good reason. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself." Greer spat and then looked at Pete.

"I'm sure you were Mr. Graco, but I'm afraid your daughter thinks otherwise." Pete said and smiled.

"Ungrateful daughter. You raise them and pay for everything and this is how they treat you." Greer grumbled again.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow." Pete said and waved, heading out of the stuffy room.

In the locker room, Pete found Linc changing.

"Man are you going to have fun tonight." Pete said and laughed as he changed his clothes.

"So the Captain checked in then?" Linc asked, changing into his white uniform.

"Yeah. You think he's uptight now wait until you hear him now. He's complaining about everything." Pete said and buttoned up his shirt. "See you tomorrow."

"Pete!" Linc called after him only to see Pete fly out of the facility.

CHAPTER 5

Pete dropped by his late brother's facility hoping the administrator came back early, not even his charm could get him in. He began to question everything his parents had told him, how much were lies, and was his whole life a lie.

Finding the elderly home depressing Pete had no desire to go to his empty apartment and found a club to go to. The loud pounding music, beer, and pretty chicks made him forget his lonely and unresolved childhood. After closing down the club at 3 am he made his way home, just enough time to shower and end up at the home.

Luckily he was assigned Greer's wing but he had the nursing supervisor from hell.

"Mr. Cochrane. We have standards." Nurse Hines chided him. "If you don't want to work I'm sure we can find someone who can."

"I'm fine. Nurse Hines," Pete said, but he wasn't. His head pounded and the smell of breakfast made him nauseous. Distracted during his shift he pushed his way through it, his thoughts always turning to Brian and the deep regrets of not seeing him.

After shift, Pete dragged himself to the locker room to change and to get the horrible stink of death off him. He quickly pulled off his soiled uniform, threw it into the locker and changed into street clothes.

"Hey Pete." Linc said and he met him at his locker. Linc was busy changing into his uniform.

"Huh?"Pete looked up at Linc, who looked well rested.

"You okay there buddy?" Linc whispered as he noticed the other night shift orderly changing.

"I'm fine man. Just leave me alone. The captain's okay." Pete said as he quickly changed. He didn't like Linc riding him. "Later."

Pete quickly disappeared out of the facility and felt drawn to the night clubs and partying again through the night.

CHAPTER 6

Pete again dragged himself to the nursing home; so far it had been two weeks of hell. He still had no answers for his brother's death and the assignment only made him feel guiltier. If only his parents had told him, he would have gone to see Brian. In losing Brian, he had lost himself too.

Linc glared at him as he shuffled into the locker room and changed. Pete's head pounded and his mouth tasted like he had drank sand.

"Pete."Linc hissed, they were alone in the locker room. "Man, what is going on with you?"

Pete ignored Linc. Linc had no right to ask him anything about anything. In fact, Greer was to blame and his idea of the mod squad. Besides he had to be all some grand design since he didn't like people getting close which went back to Brian's supposed death.

Pete slammed the locker door shut, since he had changed quickly. But he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey Pete." Linc almost whispered. "Please talk to Julie man, for whatever is making you so uptight."

Pete looked up at Linc. Nothing would make him feel better until he talked to the administrator at the facility.

MSMSMSMSMSMSMSMS

Pete found himself on Sunset Blvd at a club called Rocking Dave's. It was a large cavernous club, with multiple bars and bands. Quickly ushered in, he found a small dark corner, watching the gyrating miniskirted dancers, listening to the pounding rock music and the psychedelic colors as they flashed on the wall. Sitting on a leather couch he found three lovely young ladies next to him. Looking at them he felt something, they were all pretty and making passes at him.

"Groovy, let's dance." Pete pulled up the brunette in the sheer plastic mini skirt and red halter top. The music grew louder as they got closer to the stage. A pulsating beat took away any thoughts Pete had, that and feeling the soft skin and perfume of the pretty chick didn't hurt either.

Before long Pete was at the brunette's pad and her bedroom. She lived alone.

MSMSMSMSMS

Pete woke up just in time to get to the Captain's facility with minutes to spare. He hadn't even gotten the chick's name or number. He knew he was reverting back to his old ways but it couldn't be helped. He was floundering but he couldn't stop himself.

Linc and Pete were alone in the locker room; Pete couldn't bear to look at Linc.

"Hey man, where were you?" Linc hissed as he changed into street clothes. "Julie's been trying to reach you."

"I've been busy." Pete brushed Linc off. "Besides what I do on my own time is my business."

"Man, in case you forgot we're working a case." Linc growled. "And we're watching the Captain's back."

Pete looked at Linc through his bloodshot eyes. "I have his back." Pete hissed, buttoned up his uniform and slammed the locker shut, not looking back at Linc.

Chapter 7

Pete made a mad dash to the Captain's room; Greer had the newspaper spread out on his bed and was grumpy. His room was a mess, there were at least a weeks' worth of newspapers on the floor along with a few dozen towels. He shook his head since he knew the captain had always kept his apartment and office immaculate.

"Orderly." Greer growled at him. "I'd like a word with you."

"Yes sir." Pete said through gritted teeth as he picked up the newspapers and towels from the floor. Bending down his head pounded to his heart and he winced with pain. With the door open, he could hear all the other activity in the hall, preventing them any privacy, however the look on Greer's face told him it was something serious. He was picking up a newspaper when Nurse Hines walked into the room.

"Orderly." Hines barked at him.

"Yes ma'am." Pete said and crumpled the newspaper in his hands.

"I'll take care of him. I need the East wing cleaned, we will be getting a few new residents, and the doors will be marked." Hines looked at Greer.

"Yes ma'am." Pete shrugged to Greer and headed out of the room.

For the rest of his shift, he spent cleaning most of the East wing, tearing off bed sheets and towels and mopping floors. Pete wasn't discouraged it was D-Day, he could finally see where his brother Brian lived and died and no one was going to stop him.

Noting the time, Pete quickly made his way to the locker room to change and find out about Brian. He didn't see Linc but it didn't matter, what mattered was his brother Brian. On the way out of the home, he bumped into a burly, bearded dark haired man, whose blue eyes flared at him.

"Sorry man."Pete apologized and noted the man was an orderly but he hadn't seen him around the home.

The man grunted and Pete made his way out of the home. He rushed to his brother's facility making sure he wouldn't be turned away.

Walking up the sidewalk and the well-manicured lawns Pete could feel his heart beating out of his chest, he was finally getting the answers he craved. The sprinklers were going and he smelled water and newly cut grass, he even saw the marks from the lawnmower, in even brush strokes, like a painting.

Opening the door he was greeted with the fresh smell of rich leather and roses, the reception area hadn't change, not even Ms. Highbough.

"Good afternoon, I'm here to see Ms. Holland. She is back isn't she?" Pete spoke cordially to her, the look of surprise on her face told it all. She wasn't expecting him to come back.

"Please take a seat. I'll see if she's available." Susan said neutrally.

Pete took a seat in one of the leather chairs and waited. He watched as Susan buzzed Ms. Holland and they had a whispered conversation on the phone.

"Mr. Cochrane, Ms. Holland will see you now." Susan pointed to the closed door behind her. "She has your brother's file."

Chapter 8

Pete knocked on the heavy oak door and opened it. The office was similar to the reception area, only larger with a few more oak filing cabinets and a bright picture window looking onto the well-manicured lawns. He smelled coffee and Chanel.

"Please, have a seat." Ms. Holland pointed to a deep leather chair.

Pete sat and tried to get comfortable, he felt as if he was in a line up as Holland looked at him. From what he could see Ms. Holland was a stickler. Her desk was nice and neat, a gold pen set was nearest him, no doubt to sign those documents. He thought she was about 5'5", her black hair pulled into a tight bun with a pair of gold chopsticks and what he could see a pinstriped pant suit. She looked about forty- five and had the same look as the Captain.

"Would you like coffee?" Holland asked nicely.

"Sure." Pete said, feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything.

She turned her black, high backed chair to him and poured a cup of coffee from a hidden coffee maker. Turning around she handed the china cup back to him, along with packaged cream and sugar.

"Thank you." Pete said and decided to drink the liquid black.

"Mr. Cochrane." Holland asked as her lips pursed

Pete put down his cup.

"Yes." Pete gripped the arms of the chair, expecting the worst.

"Your request is highly unusual." Holland said. "And I only found out about your request this morning."

"You didn't expect me back so soon?" Pete said and smiled and turned on his charm. "I'm sorry but I only recently learned about my brother's death. Am I asking too much? Really?"

Pete watched as Holland made up her mind and then stood up. He stood up too, expecting to be shown the door.

"Like I said before, your request is highly unusual but you caught me in a good mood. I'd like to preface that I wasn't here at the time of your brother's passing. I did find out his room and will give you a tour of our home. "Holland stated.

"Thank you." Pete said and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Please sign here." Holland pushed a visitor ledger at him.

Taking one of the fancy gold pens he signed and then she gave him a badge to wear.

"We don't allow any unauthorized visitors. Strictly for the safety of our residents." She informed him coldly.

CHAPTER 9

Pete nodded as he followed her out of the office, through the lobby and she opened a door into the inner sanctum of the home. Air conditioned air greeted him with smells almost of home, but it was still an institutional facility no matter how you painted it.

MSMSMMMSMSSMS

Just walking through the halls, Pete felt comfortable; the place had a homey feel to it, much as he hated to admit to it. The walls were painted shades of blues, yellows and pinks. The hallways were hard wood with perfectly placed rugs. The home where Greer was at was completely different. It smelled of death and decay, here he smelled flowers and somehow love.

They walked through the homey halls into the rooms; he could hear laughter, TV's and stereos. The residents seemed to be doing okay.

"I did some research," Holland said and stopped, then opened a door. "This used to be your brother's room." She opened the door and ushered Pete in. He looked around.

It looked like any other teenager's room, with posters, makeshift bookshelves and a record player. But he stopped when he looked at the toy portion of the room. There was a large blue chest stuck in the corner and on the top was a familiar blue and gold 6 "plastic color ball. Pete walked over and picked it up, turned it around and then saw it, Pete and Brian written with a black sharpie, so many years ago.

Memories flooded his mind, how Brian could play for hours with the ball, inside or out. In Brian's room they would sit on the floor and roll it back and forth and Brian would never tire of it. He could hear his brother's laughter and joy at such a simple thing. If they were outside, they would play catch or kick the ball and maybe even stay in the shallow end of the pool and play with it there. All the good times he had with Brian, took his breath away, making his dead brother alive.

"Mr. Cochrane." Holland said and touched his arm." Are you okay?" She said with concern.

"This ball…" Pete said, finally able to find his voice. "Um, see. "Pete pointed out their names. "We used to play with this for hours. Brian never tired of it. Never."

Pete set the ball back down, not able to handle the emotions attached with it. Then he spotted the Lincoln logs. He knelt down on the floor and picked one up. He had gotten these for Brian one Christmas.

"I remember these too." Pete said as his voice cracked. "He would play with these when I was at school." He said quietly and sighed.

"Brian would always rush to greet me at the door. Not even giving me a chance to put my books away. Man he was always making something with them. It may have not been perfect but he was so proud of it." Pete said and carefully put the log back on the floor. He stood up, feeling unsure as the emotions rolled through him, like rough surf. Everything he thought he had forgotten about Brian was there, bright as the sun and just as hot.

"Mr. Cochrane would you like to take this home as…" Holland offered, concern etched on her face.

"No, man. I couldn't . I just couldn't. Um could we…could you show me more of the home?" Pete asked hoping to keep it together the rest of the tour.

MSMSMSMSMS

Holland brought him to the homey cafeteria; there were regular dining tables and chairs, ones you would find at home. The cafeteria felt more like home, the walls were bright and cheery, and there was typical cafeteria line and then separate rooms.

"Our residents can eat whenever they want, Mr. Cochrane." Holland said proudly. "We also can deliver food to our residents who are sick. Family is encouraged to visit and we have private dining rooms for that. This home is inclusive; we don't shield our residents from the rest of the world."

Pete looked around and noticed the buffets off to one side, filled with apples, cookies along with a soda dispenser, milk and anything in between. He could smell meatloaf, chicken and turkey along with apple pie. His stomach rumbled since he had rushed straight over from his assignment.

"Mr. Cochrane. Please take a seat." Holland pointed him to a two person table. There was a vase filled with a red carnation and plaid placemats.

Pete sat down, crossed his hands on the table and waited.

Ms. Holland brought a tray filled with two cups of coffee and a plate with assorted cookies, napkins and placed it on the table.

"Please help yourself." Holland pointed at the food.

Pete happily took the mug of coffee and a few cookies. He choose chocolate chip, peanut butter and a snicker doodle. Biting into the chocolate chip he found it refreshingly homemade.

"Our residents don't eat the standard institutional food. Your brother ate well, the only time a resident's food would be regulated if they were getting over weight and their menus would change to reflect it." Holland said and took a sip of her coffee.

"You make this place sound like some sort of paradise." Pete said as he finished his cookie. "To me, ma'am it seems more like a prison."

"Mr. Cochrane, I can assure you this is no prison." Holland reassured him.

"No, ma'am, more like a bird in a gilded cage." Pete said bitterly. He finished his cookies and coffee.

"Can we get on with the rest of the tour?" Pete stood up as did Holland. She was frowning but he didn't care.

CHAPTER 10

Ms. Holland showed him the classrooms, gym and indoor pool. She then led him outside to see the tennis and volleyball courts. Once they looked around, Holland led them to a large oak tree with a small picnic table. The bright sunshine did nothing to dispel Pete's feelings about the place and his brother dying alone.

"As you can see our residents live a rich full life. Please let's take seat." Holland pointed out a small picnic table; she sat down with a look of seriousness in her face.

"I'm afraid there is another part of the home I can't show you."Holland explained softly.

"Why?" Pete said feeling, justified in calling the place a prison.

"It's our hospital ward, Mr. Cochrane. I prefer our residents have some modicum of privacy." Holland further explained.

"Why are you telling me this?" Pete suddenly felt insulted and confused.

"I thought you knew Mr. Cochrane, with your brother having Down's." Holland said.

"Down's? My brother had Down's? What is that?" Pete said, shook his head and rubbed his neck.

"Down's is a genetic disorder, Mr. Cochrane. I'm sure you remember how your brother was much different than you?" Holland asked concern on her face.

Pete nodded.

"But he was just my brother Ms. Holland that's all I knew." Pete reflected. "He was my brother."

"Yes I understand." Holland said and sighed. "Unfortunately not only does Down's cause mental retardation, but it is also causes a lot of medical problems."

Pete sat in shock. He had never thought of those, Brian had the flat nose, slow speech, but he was just Brian.

"Your brother not only had a congenital heart disease but also had numerous other ailments. For a normal person it can be overwhelming, so if you take into account your brother's medical condition it can be monumental but..."Holland continued.

"But what? Are you saying my brother died alone and scared? How dare you say you care when you don't!" Pete said through gritted teeth and stood up.

"Please Mr. Cochrane sit down." Holland ordered. "I'm not done yet."

Pete sat down, more out of curiosity than anything else.

"Your brother was in the hospital wing the last year of his life, but he wasn't alone. We have special nurses, attendants to ease the way. They explain in simple terms so our residents can understand. He was well taken care of." Holland explained.

Pete looked at the administrator, and then out into the grounds. His brother died surrounded by strangers, not family. Not like his parents cared any way, they had stuck Brian here since they were too busy to care for Brian.

"Is there anything else you need to tell me? "Pete said bitterly.

"Yes Mr. Cochrane, our residents don't just live here we have outings." Holland said and smiled.

"Outings?" Pete stood up.

"Yes, to ball games, amusement parks, concerts. They enjoyed life outside these walls. Your brother experienced life, and had a rich one. "Holland explained slowly.

"I get that. I think we're done." Pete removed himself from the table. "Thank you. I'll see my way out."

CHAPTER 11

Pete quickly left what he considered a prison as he felt the walls closing in on him. Along with regret, fear and anger. Emotions swirled as he made his way to the reception area, even seeing the happy faces on the residents did nothing to quell his raw emotions.

Pete quickly found his way out of the home, once in reception he took off his visitor badge and slammed it down on the secretary's desk.

"Mr. Cochrane. You have to.."

He went through the doors to the grounds, as he rubbed the back of his neck, he had no more answers than when he found the death certificate. Getting into his car, he revved the car and pealed rubber out of the parking lot. He was suffocating and need to get as far and fast away from everything and everybody.

Pete drove all over the city, finally driving up to Griffith Park and the observatory. Slamming the door, after getting out of the car, he walked around the observatory and to the overlook. He looked down on Los Angeles, smog and all. He knew there were millions of people going about their business, criminals and innocents, but it did nothing to help his soul. Lights flickered and he could hear the city below.

Going to the home, he learned nothing about Brian, other than the way he lived. Oh the home gave Brian everything he needed, except love. Pete sighed, he guiltily remembered the times he had refused to play with Brian, and he was busy doing things with friends. But when he did play with Brian, Brian made no judgments why he hadn't played with him before, only he enjoyed the moments he was with them.

Putting his two fingers to his temple he couldn't believe his parents hadn't visited Brian, not even his mother, who was protective of Brian. How many times had she stopped him and Brian went they wanted to some fun thing. No, he had to come to the fact his parents had abandoned his brother in that home. He continued staring at the city until a bright light was shone at him.

"Sir." A very cop like voice said.

Pete turned around to find a bright light shone in his eyes.

"Officer." Pete said quietly, as he felt his anger growing at his parents.

"The park is closed sir. I suggest you move on." The cop said.

"Yes, sir." Pete said sarcastically and started moving away.

"Sir I suggest you change your attitude it might get you into trouble someday."

"Yes sir." Pete said and quickly made his way to his car.

MSMSMSMSMSMSMSM

Pete found himself at the pier, it was half covered in fog, but he walked to the end anyway. Off in the darkness he could hear the waves and fog horn. He leaned on the railing, felt the mist and shook with the cold. He sighed, how could have things gone so wrong. Could he blame his parents for sending Brian away on his path towards destruction? Or was he just looking for a cop out. Pete laughed at his own pun. Rusty, stealing cars and ending up a being a cop was just plain irony, he thought. Nothing he could say or do now would change that. But what really ate at him was his parents; they hadn't even visited Brian in that prison. They shut him away and never looked back. Maybe he was the same way; he tried every Christmas only to be brushed away like crumbs.

Pete sighed, wondered if it was worth confronting his parents again, looking for some connection. But he had a family, Linc, Julie and Greer. Why would he need anyone else? They watched his back; they actually cared for him, his parents not so much. Just another thing to control.

CHAPTER 12

Pete wasn't sure how long he stood there, staring out into the darkness looking for answers. Regrets and anger filled his mind. Regrets for not paying more attention to Brian or to see what had really been happening around him. He was filled with anger at his parents for lying to him about Brian's death and then shutting him out again when he found out about their deception.

Breathing in the salt air did nothing to calm him. He wondered how long since he'd been surfing, it had been a long while. It seemed they went from one case to another without resting. He was finding out there was a lot of evil and despair in the world.

Pete was still staring out in the darkness when he felt someone beside him. He turned around to face a bright light in his face and a familiar voice.

"Cochrane. Is that you?" Officer Templen asked.

"Yes Templen it's me." Pete groused and started walking.

"Good. I'd really hate to bust you. Captain Greer would have my badge." Templen joked.

Pete continued walking to his car and left Templen and the squad car at the end of the pier.

By the time he got home it was after 3 AM, as he put the key in the lock he could hear the phone ring. He quickly pushed the door open, went to the bar and picked up the handset.

"Hello?" Pete asked wondering who would be calling at three.

"Man, Pete where you been?" Linc said irately.

"Out." Pete said sarcastically not being put out by someone he considered a friend.

"Besides." Pete sighed, "You on a break or something."

"No, man I'm not on a break. Julie stopped by your place and I've been calling. Well I've been calling." Linc said his voice uneven.

"So, why are you so uptight man?" Pete asked as he sat on a chair at the bar.

"Man, you know that lousy stair at my apartment?" Linc explained.

"Yeah, man. You've been trying to get that fixed for months. "Pete said and yawned, wishing Linc would just hang up. He was beat.

"Well man I tripped on it and broke my ankle." Linc snorted.

"And you still got to work?" Pete asked confused.

"NO man, I'm not at work." Linc said in slow even tones. "Someone has to watch the Captain's back and we tried to reach you."

"But..."

"Man you do remember why the captain and you and me are there, right? I told you Julie laid it on them that she wanted Daddy dead or did you miss that part." Linc said barely able to hold his temper.

"Daddy? Oh you mean the Captain." Pete snickered then flashed on the orderly he bumped in the way out. "The Captain!" The guy was someone he saw in a mug book. "The Captain." Pete dropped the phone and headed out the door, leaving the handset swinging as Linc spoke to empty air.

CHAPTER 13

Pete hauled ass to the home, all the way muttering "the Captain." He had been so wrapped up in his own problems he had totally blown off the assignment. He ran a few lights but no cops turned up, the old phrase _there never was a cop around when you needed_ one rang true.

Getting to the home in record time, he parked to the nearest door to Greer's room. Once out of the car he ran to the two locked doors, his hands were shaking so much he knew his tools were useless. Taking a step back, he karate kicked the nearest door to the lock. He felt the glass give way as he punched his way through. Reaching through avoiding the broken glass he turned the knob and opened the door. Once the door opened a loud shrilling alarm sounded as Pete ran to the Greer's room. He ended up feeling like a salmon swimming upstream as residents poured out from their rooms to see what the alarm was about.

Pete finally got to the Greer's room and found the door locked; again he was unable to use his tools. He listened to the door and heard nothing.

"Excuse me." Pete said as he moved the residents away so he could break open the door.

"Young man, aren't you an orderly here?" A grey haired woman asked.

"Yes ma'am I am but I really can't help you now." Pete said and smiled.

"My toilet isn't working again." She complained.

Pete shook his head; the toilet was going to be the least of her worries when they got through.

"Please ma'am could you move I don't want you to get hurt." Pete said as he pushed the woman further down the hall. He had to practically yell over the alarm and the older woman. Once it was clear, he kicked the door down.

To his horror he saw the orderly he saw before he left bending over Greer with a pillow.

"Oh no you don't." Pete screamed and ran to the orderly.

He grabbed the man by the back of his uniform and threw him against the furthest wall. He then picked up the man and did again. Each bone crunching thump against the wall was satisfying. Suddenly all his rage was released like a wild fire. He lost count how many times he had thrown the man against the wall. Then when he was breathless he watched as the man slithered to the floor.

Pete then straddled him, using his fists to make contact with the man's soft tissue, the rage at being lied to by his parents, the rage of reliving his grief again over his brother's death, merged into one firestorm.

Each punch was satisfying and he found his breathing labored, and then he heard a voice.

"Pete." It said softly.

He didn't look up and continued to pound the man.

"Pete." Greer's voice sang to him. "PETE."

Pete stopped his chest heaving and covered in sweat. His shirt stuck to his back and he turned to look up.

"Captain." Pete stood up and was lightheaded. He walked to the bed and sat down next to Greer.

"Are you all right?" Pete asked concerned since he had forgotten all about him.

"I am now." Greer said and smiled. Greer patted his back and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Shouldn't we call for backup?" Pete said as he leaned against the wall, he was suddenly very tired.

"I don't think that will be necessary." Greer said and pointed to the door.

Pete looked at the door, not only did he see cops but also firefighters. He started laughing.

Greer joined in as the cops, residents and firefighters looked at them as if they had lost their minds.

CHAPTER 14

Pete felt nervous as he knocked on the captain's office door.

"Come in." Greer barked.

Pete went into the office and shut the door behind him. He found Greer hunched over files, but when wasn't he hunched over some files or cases or reports.

"Well are you going to stand there all day? Take a seat." Greer ordered.

Pete sat down in a familiar chair, his stomach was in knots but he had to tell Greer the truth.

"Captain, I want to apologize for almost getting you killed." Pete said and waited.

"Well as far as I can tell I'm still alive, a little bruised but I'm okay." Greer said sarcastically. "I don't see a problem. How did you know Linc was going to break his ankle?"

Pete shook his head. Linc and Julie still had covered for him, yes they were family, no doubt about it.

"There's more to it than that, Captain." Pete explained.

"I'm listening." Greer said and closed his file and put down his pencil.

Pete rubbed his right hand over his left index finger then began.

"You know how I told you about my retarded brother Brian." Pete said and sighed.

"Yes, you said he died when you were 11." Greer confirmed.

Pete shook his head.

"Well, when Julie, Linc and I were going through the death certificates I found my brothers. Captain he died last year." Pete stammered.

"Pete. I'm sorry." Greer said and frowned. Pete could see the Captain felt his pain.

"Anyway, I found out where my parents had put him, in this home, oh it was nice and…." Pete stopped. "I confronted my parents and it was a really bad scene, really bad."

"Then I decided to see where my brother had lived and died all these years. Sure it was a nice home but it lacked love. I had my head wrapped around my brother and waiting to talk to the home administrator and not on the case, Captain." Pete explained and sighed. "I'm sorry. I almost got you killed."

"Pete." Greer said gently.

"No, sir. I finally got the promised tour and felt sorry for myself. I'm mean I forgot about everything, including you, Linc and Julie. I was so uptight." Pete looked up into the Greer's eyes and found compassion.

"Look Pete, just let it go will you. Everything worked out. I'm fine and we took out the ring. I'll get your deposition next week. Now why don't you go home and get some rest." Greer said gently. "Get out of here I have work to do."

Pete stood up, still in shock from the Captain's reaction; he expected some form of reprimand.

"Solid. Thanks Captain." Pete said genuinely.

Greer waved him off.

Waiting for the elevator, Pete was again surprised by his superior. He wasn't as cold as he thought. The elevator ride was quick; he went from the lobby to the bright outdoors. Waiting on the steps he found two familiar faces.

"Hey." Linc said.

"Hey, what are you two doing here?" Pete asked as he pointed to both Linc and Julie.

"The captain called us." Julie said and smiled.

Pete looked up to Greer's office; the captain didn't miss a trick.

"Solid. I have something to show you. You saved me some phone calls. You need any help." Pete asked as he noticed the crutches Linc was using.

"I'm cool aren't I Julie." Linc said and smiled.

MSMMSMSMSMS

Pete had the top down as they drove, he liked feeling alive again. On the way, Pete told Linc and Julie everything, from finding the death certificate to saving Greer.

"So where are we going?" Julie asked as Pete turned into the driveway.

"The cemetery." Linc said seeing the sign for Piney Woods Cemetery. The place was green, lush and what he saw expensive

"Man, I haven't been here in years, I feel I have to come. "Pete sighed.

"Solid." Linc said.

Pete found a parking space near his brother's grave. The place was well manicured with trees, hills and green lawns. The gravestones were in nice rows and the place almost looked like a postcard. White fluffy clouds and a bright blue sky didn't change Pete's mood.

They all got out of the car and followed Pete.

"You remember where your brother's grave is after all this time?" Julie asked as she watch Pete's shoulder's slump.

"Hard not to. I only had one brother." Pete sighed. Once at the grave they all stopped.

Pete knelt down on the grave site and looked at the gravestone, the date was now correct.

"Find what you were looking for?" Linc asked gently.

"Man I don't know what I'm looking for." Pete snorted. Maybe he never knew what he was looking for.

"Pretty flowers." Julie said and picked up a wilting sunflower.

"Man, Brian loved those. He'd sit out in the yard watching the bees and hummingbirds. I can't tell you how many times I had to drag him in for lunch." Pete reminisced and felt himself tearing up.

"Well, it means someone was here." Julie said brightly and smiled.

Pete shook his head.

"No man. " Pete said and waved his right index finger at the grounds. "You can pay someone to do this Julie. It doesn't mean anything."

"Pete don't you think your parents would at least…"

"No Julie, they abandoned Brian. They didn't care. He died a—"Pete stammered.

"Peter, is that you?" Grace Cochrane said and walked to her son's grave.

"Mom!" Pete said in shock and confusion.

"Oh Peter." Grace wrapped her arms around Pete, hugging him, still clutching the bouquet of sunflowers in her hand.

"Man, Julie and I will wait by the car." Linc said and lead him and Julie away.

Pete nodded as he watched his friends leave him in privacy.

Grace still hugging her son had started crying and tried to speak.

"Oh Peter I wanted to tell you. Your father doesn't know I visit Brian every week. You don't think I would have forgotten about him do you." Grace cried.

"Oh Mom." Pete hugged her tighter, knowing Brian hadn't been forgotten all these years.

Grace stepped back and looked at Pete; she wiped the tears from his eyes.

"I'll have you know I visited Brian every week in the home. Your father doesn't know about that either. I loved Brian, just like I love you." Grace said and smile.

"Mom." Pete cried again and wrapped his arm around his mother. His heart found some peace knowing Brian hadn't died alone and was loved.

At the car, Julie and Linc looked at Pete and his mother.

"Do you think they'll ever get it together?" Linc asked skeptically as he crossed his arms against his chest.

"Oh I think Pete and his mother are getting it together now." Julie smiled and wiped a tear from her eye.

"Solid." Linc said, glad his dark glasses hid his moist eyes.

Pete and Grace looked at Brian's grave, arms wrapped around each other's waist. Both seemed to be a peace.

THE END


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